Getting on My Own Nerves

This past week has been entirely too stressful!  I’m starting to irritate myself.  I’m have been cleaning obsessively because I’m stressed and need to feel in control.  Save your invitations, I’m not coming to your house.

I think and re-think and obsess. . . . I tell Sean, “Stop.  We are not talking about your med board anymore.”  only to start the conversation myself moments later.  I. Am. So. Angry. And. Frustrated.

Jordan is moving this week to Mankato where he will live with Sean’s brother and family.  He will be working and will attend South Central College there in January.  We were supposed to go with to see him off and visit Erin (we haven’t seen her since July 7th).  Now this trip has forced us to change our plans.  I’m extremely disappointed. 

We will be attending the 65th Blinded Veterans Association Convention in Washington DC beginning on Friday.  I have been looking forward to this trip all year.  In fact, we are arriving a couple days early to have some extra time with friends before the convention begins. 

We fly out for the MEB appointment on Tuesday morning, return home Thursday late afternoon, and fly to DC Friday morning for ten days.  I have my sister staying with Keeley while we’re gone.  I was feeling bad about leaving her for ten days, now it’s 13.  And I’m missing her first day of school (to be honest, at 16, I wouldn’t really be a part of that). 

I thought all the phone calls and emails and frustration with scheduling this appointment was overwhelming. . . now I’m dealing with the travel schedule and wondering how to pack with barely enough time between trips to sleep.  Not that I sleep anyway, so what’s the difference?

I am seriously lobbying for my own room.  Sean kicks, twitches, jerks, has night terrors and night sweats, and snores OBNOXIOUSLY loud.  By obnoxiously, I mean he will snore so loudly he wakes himself up and asks, “what happened?”  He has actually snored so loudly that the dog got up and sniffed his mouth!!  When I bring up sleeping in another room, Sean is so unhappy that I decide to stay and make do. 

The start of school saddens me.  I know that I could not balance work and home, even with two kids gone.  I could not take another busy and stressful year and still be able to say I don’t scare small children.  But I am missing my room and the routine of back-to-school preparations. 

So I’m setting my sights on the Convention, and traveling to MN to visit the kids over Labor Day weekend.  Sean has a trip mid-September and I will have a week with the bed to myself.

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